"How strange it is, to look at the air differently ..."
how to fall in love during a global pandemic
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March 12/13, 2020
20:37 - Samuél: I've quarantined myself inside a makeshift bunker at Au Chat Noir. At least they serve beer.
20:42 - Augusta: I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I could pop over to the bunker for a brew and say hi.
21:04 - Samuél: Yeah, this bunker scene is great as expected. It's so nice to actually see people outside on the day when we're all supposed to shit our pants and never go out again.
21:06 - Augusta: Yea I bet it feels like a nice, settling sense of normalcy. However risky it might be. It’s SO nice out here in New Orleans, it’s hard to feel like staying inside is the answer to anything. I have this weird feeling like I’m still on vacation, like schools are canceled and there’s no responsibility—snow day vibes. I’m moving into my own new apartment this weekend too, so all of my shit is in boxes. Weird times.
21:15 - Samuél: Damn you've been in a whirlwind. Paris + global pandemic + long-term breakup in 2 weeks.
21:16 - Augusta: Oh ya. It’s been fun though. Minus the corona panic—all good things. Having a digital pen-pal in Paris is a plus as well.
21:47 - Samuél: Pen pal! I dig the designation.
21:49 - Augusta: Not limited to, but an accurate designation/description thus far, no? I don’t think I ever had a proper pen pal. Even back when that was more of a thing. Maybe we should take this to pen and paper.
21:53 - Samuél: Oh, that would be cool. I could spray perfume on the paper.
21:59 - Augusta: That you could. I don’t know my new address yet. LOL. I signed the lease yesterday
22:51 - Samuél: Living that Pandemic Life, off the grid. It's so. much. fun. To live alone.
23:47 - Augusta: My own lil' casa. I can’t wait to be honest. Things work out for all kind of reasons. I’m glad I live in the version of this universe where it went down like it did. I mean even to the point of if my trip had been for this week and not last week, I might never have even met you.
23:56 - Samuél: seriously. life is goddamn beautiful.
23:56 - Augusta: It really is. For a while, last year, I didn’t feel that way. Having this feeling back is good, and it’s going to be so good for making work I care about.
23:57 - Samuél: honestly, I think that's the #1 benefit to a breakup—having to rediscover oneself as an artist, and recognizing just how much time and energy relationships take. You’re going to create so much.
23:58 - Augusta: I knowwww. It’s gonna be sick. I already felt it when I was there and having all this time to myself
23:58 - Samuél: I know you don't need me to tell you this, but please, please, PLEASE don't be one of those gorgeous interesting women who immediately falls into another admittedly beautiful romance, only to surface like, 10 years later and say "I had that photo project I wanted to do."
23:58 - Augusta: Promise.
23:59 - Samuél: There isn't a pinky swear emoji, but for real (not that I doubt it, just being a good friend)
23:59 - Augusta: No no, that’s not on the agenda. But then it usually isn’t. It’s appreciated. I’m not looking for a relationship that puts me in any kind of domestic role. I can’t be anyone’s caregiver. I’m sure romance will ensue. But not letting anyone call me “theirs.” Been too long since I’ve been my own.
00:02 - Samuél: [slow clap] the possession game is played out, especially when you've got serious artistic talent. I'm not saying that in reference to me btw, just calling what I see.
00:02 - Augusta: Mhm. And it’s a damn good thing you’re in Paris, let me just say.
00:02 - Samuél: I'm very happy to be holding down the fort. Seriously, very much respect, and I applaud you for ending a very long and beautiful relationship in a respectful and caring way. It's so incredibly rare, and without making that the point of the statement (but also with, obviously, it's inevitable), it's damn sexy, like, in a deep human sexy kind of way. It's like Mario when he eats a mushroom—next level.
00:06 - Augusta: Wow. I’m new level mushroom Mario sexy? Have to say, that’s a first. But thank you for recognizing. Most people are just freaked out and waiting for the fall out to ensue.
00:07 - Samuél: It's because they're afraid of taking the honest leap themselves. Being true to oneself in this day and age might be the most valuable commodity around, but it ain't for sale. And if you ever need to chat about the inevitable hard shit that comes with a break up, don't hesitate. I know what it's like to go through the ringer, and all I can say is, books have always saved me. Books and bloopers*
00:16 - Augusta: Thanks. I know some moments are gonna suck. Inevitably. I can’t wait to dig into a stack I’ve been neglecting. I just want to say thank you. I know we hardly know each other but, I feel like I’ve known you. And I really like talking to you. I hope it doesn’t ever become a bother.
00:18 - Samuél: The feeling is so mutual. I want to thank you, too. It's been such a nice discovery to get to know you amidst the Parisian rains, and I have no doubt there are so many more conversations and Ricards to be had.
00:21 - Augusta: No doubt. I look forward to each one.
00:26 - Samuél: 💜💜💜I'm going to go read Camus to steel myself for tomorrow's headlines. And if I can give some final, very humble and admittedly trite words of advice re: break ups: let yourself be sad. Not in a self-pitying way, just in the recognition that sadness is a real, valid emotion that isn't supposed to be avoided or done away with, because when you recognize why you're sad, which often has to do with the reality of loss, you also get to recognize all the things you've gained, and then it's not really about loss at all, just experience, and that's my philosophical tangent for the evening.
00:27 - Samuél: And now, on the other side of the how-to-deal-with a-break-up coin, a blooper:
March 13, 2020
Tonight, at about 8pm, while having a drink with Eleonore Au Chat Noir, the news we’ve all been fearing came in: from midnight tonight, all non-essential businesses in France will be closed indefinitely.
To imagine the City of Light without bars or restaurants, if only for two weeks, is to confront one of the most profound sociological experiments ever enacted upon this city. There is no real precedent, and to think of any similar scenario (one involving curfews and bans on public gatherings and pedestrians) would be to return to late June, 1940, during those early days of the Nazi occupation.
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